Mortified Nation

Entourage Star Gets Mortified

2008-08-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

Huge thanks to Mortified superfan Lisa who emailed us to say she spotted our first book, Mortified: Real Words, Real People, Real Pathetic, in the pages of the August 2008 InStyle magazine.

Intrigued, we picked up a copy and sure enough, there it was... displayed on the bookshelf of Entourage actress Constance Zimmer.

We hereby nominate Ms. Zimmer as the newest official member of the Mortified BFF Club.

Also spotted on her shelf? Middlesex (a book about a female teenage outcast) and Ulysses (a book about awkward teenage boys).

Anyone detect a recurring theme?

Mortified Alum Writes Something 'Horrible'

2008-07-16T13:08:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Mortified participant Maurissa Tancharoen, who co-wrote the pretty damn awesome new web series, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

Mortified fans may know Maurissa from our latest book, Mortified: Love Is a Battlefield. In Maurissa's entry, "Dissed," she shared a diary that revealed her ill-conceived attempt to go from studious Asian girl to sassy, hip hop homegirl.

Dr. Horrible has a pretty great pedigree-- Joss Whedon, Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, Felicia Day (who writes a fun series of her own). But the show's secret ingredient is actually its score by Jed Whedon.

Anyway, we think you'll get a huge kick out of the show. Hopefully, if its a hit, it will help to bring more attention to world of online series (like ours, for instance).

Help Save the 1-800-SUICIDE Hotline

2008-06-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

Mortified deals with a wide range of issues that teenagers face everyday. From the cute stuff (songs, exams, crushes, bad hair). To the dark stuff (bigotry, depression, addiction, divorce, violence). Even though our project is rooted in comedy, we love to use Mortified to explore the full spectrum of what kids go through. The good and the bad.

Not surprisingly, one topic that we hear a lot of kids write about is suicide. And today, there is a suicide attempt every 42 seconds. Luckily, there's a great nonprofit devoted to helping people of all ages get the privacy and care they need. But as this organization is no longer government funded, they need your help to continue. All we ask is that you watch this video. If it impacts you, perhaps you will visit Hopeline.com and donate funds to help 1-800-SUICIDE.

Special thanks to our friend Frank Warren, who runs the fascinating PostSecret project, and who first told us about the hotline. Hope you can help. If not, forward this to a friend.

Swedish People Give Good Angst

2008-06-30T15:55:00.001-07:00

Ever wanted to know what Mortified sounds like not in English? Enjoy this TV news story about Skambyran: Mortified Sweden. The first non-English-speaking production of its kind, Mortified's Swedish production features all the same childhood misery and anguish... as told in a whole new language. While we've dabbled with foreign-language pieces in the past, this is our first attempt to build a complete show around it. So far the results have been excellent, and fans have packed the shows.

The bad news? You likely can't understand a word they are saying.

The good news? You can enjoy a sneak peek of Mortified Sweden without having to pay for airfare.

Congrats to Linda Backlund, Mortified Sweden's chief angstologist, who did a kick ass job in her first TV interview.

In Mixtape We Trust

2008-06-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

Our friend Jason Bitner from Found Magazine has created a fantastic new project, Cassette from My Ex. The site is a collection of personal essays written about mixtapes that people received while in relationships that are now kaput. In addition to reading about the music, you can even hear it streamed on the site in all its historic glory.

How much does Mortified like it? We contributed to it.

Read this recent mixtape essay by Mortified creator Dave Nadelberg featuring a music that includes everyone from The Pixies to The Replacements to New Order to several bands you wish you could forget.

Many other captivating projects have emerged in recent years devoted to mixtapes, too. However, Cassette from My Ex is among our very faves in that pack, focusing more on stories about people than the the music. Worth checking out.

The Doogie Diaries: Life vs. Death

2008-06-23T18:57:00.000-07:00

Doogie Howser is truly "the Mortified OG". Every day, the young doctor hung up his lab coat, walked into his bedroom and tirelessly poured his heart into his digital daily journal.

If we could put adult Doogie on stage today, we would. If only Mr. Bochco would let him.

In the meantime, here's a peek a little Doog's private thoughts on life and death.

Great Moments in Mortified History: Blaire Warner Edition

2008-05-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

A Pop Culture Peek at Diaries Through the Decades

Fans of Mortified already know that deep within our childhood diaries and notebooks are the secrets to the facts of life.

But lest we forget, many of those same lessons can be found in The Facts of Life. Here's a clip we found that illustrates the dangers of diving into the pages of someone else's life without an invite. A warning to parents: Blaire Warner does utter the phrase "air brained witch."

No Tooties were harmed in the writing of this post.

Awesome Show Alert: Dead Moms Don't Hug

2008-05-13T12:35:00.001-07:00

For those of you in Los Angeles in May, Mortified alum Ariane Price has a fascinating show scheduled. The show features Ariane reading aloud passages from both her own teenage journals... as well as the teenage journals of her mother, who passed away when Ariane was a child. If you're a fan of Mortified's mix of pathos and humor, our guess is that this project's darkly funny sensibilities will be up your alley too.
-----
"DEAD MOMS DON'T HUG"

A poignant comedy about figuring out how to become a woman and a mother myself... with out my own mom. From losing my virginity in a converted garage underneath a Whitesnake poster, to the horrors of the Brazilian Bikini wax.

The Groundling's Theater
Tuesdays
May 20 & May 27
8pm
323-934-4747
FREE!
Runtime: under an hour

Mortified's Naked Nation

2008-04-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

You know that dream you have about being back in high school and having to read aloud an essay to your class... but for some reason you forgot your clothes?

Well, this is the reverse. And whether it's a dream or nightmare is up to you.

Recently, we held a secret Mortified show in NYC. It was a private event held in the upstairs room of a respected restaurant. And it had one twist. Everyone in the audience was going to be eating, drinking, laughing... and buck naked.

The event was hosted by Clothing Optional Dinner, a humble nudist society that hosts social gatherings at bars, cafes and clubs around Manhattan. We were both surprised and flattered to be invited to participate.

Given that Mortified explores the notion of exposing oneself, we naturally found the premise of doing an event before an unclothed audience to be a fascinating psychological experiment. We'd be emotionally naked on stage... while our audience would be physically naked at tables. Turns out, the show was a big hit with both performers (Law Tarello, Brandy Barber, Giulia Rozzi, and Anne Altman) and audience members alike.

For those who're curious, when we asked Clothing Optional Dinner if we needed to strip to our skivvies in order to perform, too, they said we had to be either fully dressed or fully nude. No wishy-washy people in bras or boxer shorts. Needless to say, we not only wore clothes, we got all dolled up for the occasion. A truly strange and wonderful night.

Was there a scientific result? Yes. Whether you're male or female, dressed or undressed, being naked in public shows the world you've got balls.

On a strangely related-but-not-related note, NewTeeVee covered the recent outbreak of naked vloggers spreading (pun?) across YouTube.

Which re-ignites a question that Mortified is frequently asked. In an era of populist media, where is the line between positive self-expression vs. icky exhibitionism? We go to great lengths to protect Mortified from veering into the latter category (it's the main reason we're adamant about vetting all material) and hopefully we succeed.

Regardless, the air in the naked nation is getting a wee bit nipply.

Mortified Goes Goth

2008-03-27T15:51:00.001-07:00

For years, we've collected countless notebook entries, journals and poems from kids who wrote obsessively about... The Cure.

At a recent stage show in LA, those tables turned in the best possible way when Laurence "Lol" Tollhurst, one of the founding members of The Cure (and apparent Mortified superfan), actually joined Mortified on stage.

In addition to sitting in with The Mortified After School Orchestra for the night, Lol also helped performer Kirsten Gronfield bring to life an awkward Cure-inspired song that she wrote at age 15. Lol was a great sport and his latest band Levinhurst is worth checking out.

In related news, The Cure is celebrating their 30th anniversary this year. Help celebrate this milestone by wearing lots of black eyeliner to work tomorrow.

Because Kids Love Portly Middle Aged Men!

2008-03-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

Many fans of our first book, Mortified: Real Words Real Pathetic, have expressed fascination with a chapter in which an overweight boy, Steve Scaia, wrote letters to Mr. Belvedere, a sitcom character from the 1980s.

We've always been fascinated with Steve's strange Belv obsession, too. Mostly because it's just kinda weird that a fat, balding, vaguely gay, mustache-ioed, middle-aged man would emerge as a childhood icon.

Fonzie, we get. Mr. T, we totally get. Belv, well, that's just kinda creepy. And yet, the fact remains-- kids truly loved him. For those who crave further proof of this bizarre blip in history, behold this bit of evidence.

Mortified's Super Sexy Holiday Hangover Bonus

2008-02-21T20:30:00.000-08:00

Last week, the greeting card industry once again got America drunk on the notion that yes indeed, YOU ARE IN LOVE. Did you know that you are? No? Well, you are, whether you like it or not. Congratulations, sexy.

This week, however, we at Mortified are reeling from the annual holiday hangover. And we'd like to help you regain your emotional sobriety without too much pain.

Here's a teaser of our new romantically-challenged book, MORTIFIED: Love Is a Battlefield-- a compilation of people's actual childhood writings (letters, lyrics, journals, poetry, art). All themed to romance.

The following entry was written in 1989 by Colleen Kane, who as a teenager never met a headbanger she didn't like. In this excerpt from her journal, Colleen describes attending the hotbed of teen lust that is... a theme park.

Clearly, those who think Paris is the city of romance have never seen the majestic glow of a mullet on a rollercoaster.

* * * *

September 4, 1989

Oh my gosh! So much has happened since I got a perm! Thursday, I got my perm and was really scared, but it came out looking really nice and I look older now. Friday, I'd been at Denise A's overnight and that day we went to Great Adventure.

Two guys tried to pick us up—real geekaroos. Well one was OK. But the scuzz, Carl, was a showoff, and he tried to start a conversation with us by commenting on my Bon Jovi shirt. He said "Bon Jovi stinks." (LIES!) I turned around and glared at him. His cousin, as I learned he was later, was apologetic. He's like, "I like Bon Jovi." I turned back around. Carl, (no, I bet it's spelled the annoying way, with a K) Karl continued. "No, they really do."

I turned, glanced at his Ozzy Ozbourne t-shirt, and said, "Ozzy sucks." His cousin, Mike, said, I agree, "Ozzy does suck, and Bon Jovi's cool."

I thanked him, and Denise & I went on the Ferris wheel. Then after the ride the guys hooked up with us and came along to the Scream Machine. Embarrassing. What could we say? Go away?

That night we went to the boardwalk. We saw these guys a few times as we walked up and down and one with long brown hair was pretty cute. They said hello once as we passed. Then when waiting for our pictures to come out of the booth, one of the guys that had said hello asked me if I'd like to meet that guy over there and asked my name.

He went over to the long-haired (!) guy and told him, came back and told me his name was Mike, went back, and brought Mike and his friends and we, Denise, Mike & I walked off. We talked basically about music and Bon Jovi. He's really nice and really sweet and cute. Not hot, but cute. So after about an hour, his friends told him they had to go home.

So he had to go, but he asked for my ! He had me write it on the back of a picture he'd won of a naked woman with strategically placed limbs and beer bottle. Classy.

After that, Denise and I freaked! She was so psyched for me! Then we walked to a private part at the boardwalk and she told me about this guy who'd been calling her for awhile and I touched the sand because I hadn't touched it all summer. It was so soft. It was a starless night, as Mike had pointed out. Then we went home.

We've talked on the phone 4x, a record for me. He really likes talking to me. It's a toll call. He wants to spend all his money on calling me! He wants to ride his bike to my house! (He lives 1/2 an hour from Point Pleasant) And-- he told me I'm pretty!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! This is the first time a boy ever has!

...
Well, as you can imagine, my confidence is really boosted-- one reason that I'm sorta looking forward to school. I think the guys'll notice me this year, if Friday was any indication. Well, I'm gonna go brood over some cookies and milk. Bye.

Mortified's 5-Step "Valentine Survival Guide"

2008-02-14T12:25:00.000-08:00

Ok. Want to know how to redeem yourself this Valentine's season even though you forgot to buy a gift in time?

Behold, Mortified's 5 step solution to romantic redemption.

1. Go to favorite book/music store
2. Buy Mortified: Love is a Battlefield
3. Buy the greatest hits from Air Supply
4. Give these 2 items to a lonely loved one
5. Commence dry humping

If you have a friend who is lonely and kinda bummed out this Valentine's day, I highly suggest the above 5 steps. They will thank you.

Give the gift of angst.

Dave

Mortified Endorses "Cardboard Hillary"

2008-02-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

This just in.

Newly unearthed candidate "Cardboard Hillary" announces a running mate. Congratulations to Mortified contributor Leonard Hyman, whose relationship with CH began in the early 1990s.

While Mortified does not officially endorse any political candidate (including the real Hillary Clinton), we do think "Cardboard Hillary" has pretty damn cool taste in both fashion and friends.

Vote for "Cardboard Hillary"/Hyman in 08.

Introducing... The Mortified Shoebox Show

2008-01-20T20:43:00.000-08:00

Our baby has arrived. And while sweet and innocent, it already has quite a potty mouth.

Introducing... The Mortified Shoebox Show, the debut online video series from Mortified.

We hope we've done you all proud. Enjoy.

Sascha Rothchild Enters the Ninja

2008-01-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

Many of our fans may recall Sascha Rothchild. She's being involved in Mortified since show #1 and, over the years, we've mined many of her wonderfully debaucherous journals for our stage show.

One of these pieces (a selection we titled Miami Vices) landed on This American Life's radio show, greatest hits CD and eventually their TV series. It also appears in Mortified's first book, along with another piece that chronicles the summer of her first kiss.

But for those who aren't satisfied simply hearing Sascha's sordid tales of teenage lust... you are in luck. Sascha's tales of adult lust (and other adventures) are now chronicled in LA Weekly, where she is now a rotating columnist.

Her first piece tackles her courtship of an American ninja. While it doesn't feature any underage sex or drug use (or references to Michael Dudikoff for that matter), we think you'll enjoy it just as much.

Congratulations to Sascha. We're envious and proud.

Great Moments in Music Video Pretentiousness: Kate Bush

2007-12-26T10:02:00.001-08:00

I've always had a secret thing for 1980s female electro-folk performance artists like Laurie Anderson, Kate Bush, Jane Siberry, and yes, even kinda Grace Jones.

But the reality is, for every great song these artists mustered up... there were a whole lot more that were, well, ridiculous. And it's because of my admiration for Ms. Bush that I proudly share the following exercise in historic music video pretentiousness.

Thanks to Underwired for the initial memory jog.

Thanks to Kate for also making many songs (You're the One, Rocket Man, This Woman's Work, etc) that most certainly did not creep my shit out.

How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love?

2007-12-13T18:27:00.000-08:00

Are you in love? I mean, are you really in love? Sure, you make think you know. But how can you be positive?

Ask Ted Danson and the Bateman sibs, that's how.

See? Mystery solved.

For more amazing advice on adolescent romance, check out Mortified: Love Is a Battlefield.

Geeks Gather to Celebrate AngstGiving

2007-11-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

Got friends in the media? Here's our press release for our big Mortified AngstGiving project. Feel free to spread word!

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Geeks Gather for Mortified's Global AngstGiving Benefit
Comedy Show Mounts Massive Charity Concerts in Nine Cities Worldwide

LOS ANGELES (November 1, 2007) -- Eleven shows, nine cities, two continents, and sixty-five brave adults "share the shame" of their youth to benefit the kids of today.

Marking the biggest event in its five-year existence, acclaimed stage show Mortified celebrates the season of togetherness with Mortified AngstGiving, a global gathering of recovering geeks. From DC to LA to Sweden, the massive month-long series of comedic concerts will donate proceeds to 826 National, a youth education program.

Mortified-- the grassroots comedy collective devoted to exposing embarrassing childhood writings and art-- spent months gathering material for the AngstGiving event. From horrifying heavy metal lyrics to closeted gay journals to harrowing hippie poetry, each discovery captures what makes our lives both unique and universal.

In addition to raising money for charity, the event marks the long-awaited debuts of new Mortified productions in Austin, DC, and Portland (Oregon), as well as its first ever non-English speaking production in Sweden. These join Mortified's already popular chapters in LA, San Francisco, Chicago, New York City and Boston.

Learn more about Mortified at getmortified.com

EVENT SCHEDULE:

Date: Tue., November 06, 2007
City: Washington, DC
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: HR-57
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Date: Wed., November 07, 2007 (Encore)
City: Washington, DC
Time: 7:30 PM
Venue: HR-57
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Wed., November 14, 2007
City: Los Angeles, CA
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: King King
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Date: Fri., November 16, 2007
City: Austin, TX
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: ColdTowne Theater
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Date: Fri., November 16, 2007
City: San Francisco, CA
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: Makeout Room
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Date: Sat., November 17, 2007 (Encore)
City: San Francisco, CA
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: Makeout Room
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Date: Saturday, Nov 17, 2007
City: Portland, OR
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: Someday Lounge
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Date: Wed, November 28th
City: Chicago, IL
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: Green Mill Jazz Lounge
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Date: Wed. December 5, 2007
City: Boston, MA
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: Paradise Lounge
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Date: Wed. December 5, 2007
City: Malmo, Sweden
Time: 7:00 PM
Venue: Klubben
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

Date: Thurs., December 13, 2007
City: New York City, NY
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: The Tank
Tickets: http://www.getmortified.com/live

ABOUT MORTIFIED:
Ripped from the pages of real life... Mortified is a comic excavation of adolescent artifacts-- old letters, lyrics, journals, poems, home movies, stories and more. Hailed a "cultural phenomenon" by Newsweek and celebrated by the likes of This American Life, The Today Show, Weekly, Esquire, Jane, Daily Candy and more... Mortified celebrates ordinary people and the extraordinary things they created as kids. There are amazing stories buried in the pages of people's lives. Our mission is to simply help find them. The largest and longest-running project of its kind, Mortified produces stage shows, books, and web content. Its latest book, the romantically challenged Mortified: Love Is a Battlefield, hits stores this January. Share the shame at getmortified.com.

ABOUT THE BENEFICIARY:
This year's exclusive recipient is 826 National, an amazing nonprofit organization dedicated to helping students, ages 6-18, with expository and creative writing at seven locations across the country. Co-founded by author Dave Eggers and educator Ninive Calegari, their mission is based on the understanding that great leaps in learning can happen with one-on-one attention, and that strong writing skills are fundamental to future success. Learn more about 826's work at 826national.org.

To Do List

2007-10-30T14:16:00.000-07:00

One of our favorite projects to emerge in recent years is Sasha Cagen's To Do List project.

It is now a book. And we suggest you check it out.

In keeping with Mortified, Found, PostSecert, Passive Aggressive Notes, Overheard, This American Life, etc... Cagen's book celebrates the world of the overlooked and seemingly mundane, letting them serve as unique and captivating windows into who we are.

We think you will like it.

Are You There God? It's Me, Mortified.

2007-10-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

Big thanks to the one and only Judy Blume for making a Mortified milestone.

As many of you know, we've long listed Ms. Blume as the "official patron saint of Mortified". In part, this is because of the influential and progressive work she's done in the world of young adult lit. But it is also because her presence (references to her name or work) looms over many of the old journals, notebooks, and letters submitted by Mortified's contributors raised in the 70s, 80s and even 90s.

So naturally, it was huge thrill to discover the reverse-- that Judy Blume actually wrote about us in her journal. We can think of no more fitting or surreal honor. What began as a simple bit of fanmail many years ago... has grown into a pretty damn unique and surprising friendship. So reading her entry meant a lot.

And yes, we've been pretty much spazzing out like preteen girls in a Judy Blume novel ever since.

By the way, she has a new children's book out, and we highly suggest buying it for someone much shorter than you.

Fat Broke & Horny - NYC

2007-09-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

Watch Mortified alum Mark Phinney premiere his pilot...

Fat Broke & Horny

New York TV Festival
Sat Sept 8th at 3:45pm
Free!
New World Stages - manattan, 340 w. 50th

You will laugh and stuff.

Last Chance: Mortified Portland Like Totally Wants You

2007-08-24T17:13:00.000-07:00

Fresh from DC and Austin, we're just putting the final touches on our list of readers we're scheduled to meet with for Mortified Portland.

Want to be part of the fun?

Request a screening session now and share your most embarrassing childhood letters, lyrics, journals, poetry, art, novellas, comics, home movies and more. We look forward to hearing the very best of your very worst. So if you or a friend are curious, our screening sessions are very casual and fun. Contact us to arrange a session, as we'd love to meet.

Want to know more about our process? Sweet. Just read our Casting FAQ. See you soon!

Looking for something fun to do this weekend?

2007-08-24T17:07:00.000-07:00

Wanna see a cool stage in LA with lots of great Mortified alums? Don't want to wait until next month's LA show?

Check out Raised in Captivity starring Kirsten Gronfield and Matt Berck. Avery Schreiber Theatre. Runs through Sept 1 Fridays and Saturday.

Psst! New Post Secret Video

2007-08-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

Remember a few years ago when Secret antiperspirant ripped off PostSecret.com with an ad campaign? No? Good. Hopefully the video below will continue to induce said amnesia.

Our friend Frank, who runs the always inspiring Post Secret project, just completed a new video that we think is pretty damn cool. Since Mortified and Post Secret are sorta in the same creative universes (or is that universi?), we figured you might get a kick out of it, too.

In addition to being cool, it's also a great example of the ways in which grassroots projects like ours are using technology in innovative ways to spread the good word. Which, to scrappy organizations like ours, is just as inspiring as the content itself. Enjoy.