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Mortified Book

Mortified: Books 1 & 2
A Great Gift for Your Spouse, Sibling or Long Lost BFF

Mortified: Real Words, Real People, Real Pathetic

What is it?
Mortified: Real Words Real People Real Pathetic is an anthology of people's actual childhood writings, ripped from the pages of their lives and shared with total strangers. The result is a uniquely honest collection that is equal parts comedic and cathartic. Inspired by the long-running grassroots stage phenomenon that is Mortified, the book offers a hilariously poignant peek into the mind of youth gone bad, sad or just plain pathetic. From melodramatic diaries to pretentious poetry... from awkward attempts at fiction to angry letters at summer camp. This is a book for the underdog in all of us.

Who's featured in it?
Buy the book and find out. Or view the "tags" on our Amazon page to see a complete list of names for our many brave contributors.

Who's the girl on the cover?
Her name is Carolyn Almos. She is one of the many wonderfully awkward people you will meet by reading our book.

Say hello: Email a Mortified Book e-card to a friend!

Praise for Mortified:

  • "Excruciatingly funny!" (Marie Claire)
  • "A cultural phenomenon." (Newsweek)
  • "Unbearably intimate... completely funny!" (The Onion AV Club)
  • "Enlightening!" (Esquire)
  • Celebrated by: The Today Show, This American Life, All Things Considered, Daily Candy & more.


Mortified: Love Is A Battlefield

What is it?
Picking up where Mortified: Real Words, Real People, Real Pathetic left off, Mortified: Love Is A Battlefield is a celebration of childhood love, lust and loneliness. An irreverent autobiographical excavation of teen angst artifacts (letters, lyrics, journals, artwork), the book cracks the lid off our cultural shoebox to expose first-hand tales of unrequited crushes, odd celebrity infatuations, sexual awakening, and romantic catastrophe.

Heralded by Newsweek, This American Life, The Today Show, E!, Jane, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Chicago Tribune and more, Mortified returns to deliver a heartbreaking Valentine to our collective past.

The perfect book for anyone in love... and an even better book for anyone not in love. Behold, the world's most desperate romance novel.

Published by Simon Spotlight Entertainment.


"If Schadenfreude was an Olympic sport, then this book would be its illegal performance-enhancing drug. The baring of souls is seldom this funny or touching. David Nadelberg is the Pied Piper of pre-adult pain."
Paul Feig
Creator, Freaks & Geeks
Author, Superstud and Kick Me

Who is the cover girl?
The very wonderful, very beautiful, and very kind Kim Lombardini. A fan in Ann Arbor, MI. May her glasses rest in peace.

Will reading it teach me about true love?
More than you can ever know. This book is an blueprint for understanding how the patterns of your adult love life came to be.

Can I make out with this book?
Focus groups discovered this book is a much better kisser than The Secret, The Kite Runner, Freakonomics, and most books by Sue Grafton. That said, beware of paper cuts. Unless you're into that kinda thing.